Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Star Trek (2009) Review - 53+ Flaws!

My critique of Star Trek (2009) on a technical basis, in 15 parts:

PART 1:
Flaw1: Spock presumed to be a complete idiot
Flaw 2: Pike presumed to be a complete idiot
PART 2:
Flaw 3: Supernova mass front way too fast
Flaw 4: Romulans presumed to be complete idiots
Flaw 5: How is Nero "the last of the Romulan Empire?"

PART 3:
Flaw 6: Red matter

PART 4:
Flaw 7: The Narada intact after 25 years after Klingon capture?
Flaw 8: Spock late to save Romulus (why?)
Flaw 9: Starfleet learns nothing in 25 years
Flaw 10: Narada sensor goof
PART 5:
Flaw 11: Obese concentration camp survivor
Flaw 12: Kirk didn't have enough time to warn Pike about trap
Flaw 13: Vulcan physically WAY too close to Earth
Flaw 14: Why doesn't Enterprise drop out of warp far from Vulcan?
Flaw 15: Why doesn't Enterprise sense debris field?
Flaw 16: Sulu presumed to be temporarily incompetent
Flaw 17: Nero the mining vessel captain knows temporal mechanics
Flaw 18: Ayel presumed to be a complete idiot (and probably is)
PART 6:
Flaw 19: Starfleet armada destroyed WAY too quickly
Flaw 20: No need for a drill to get to planet core
Flaw 21: Vaporization of rock incorrect (should have been a FAR bigger cloud)
Flaw 21: (yes I doubled up on #21 by accident) Why didn't landing party have landing gear?
Flaw 22: Narada doesn't sense parachuters
Flaw 23: Romulan union rules
PART 7:
Flaw 24: Transwarp beaming too far away
Flaw 25: CFLs hundreds of years in the future?
Flaw 26: Poor creature design
Flaw 27: Breach of Starfleet/military protocol
Flaw 28: Communication at Starfleet Delta Vega outpost not used
PART 8:
Flaw 29: Gravitational acceleration while in orbit
Flaw 30: Black hole not a black hole
PART 9:
Flaw 31: Spock didn't have enough time to save elders
Flaw 32: ...and he took too long
Flaw 33: ...and was beamed too far from his destination
Flaw 34: Spock takes time with Uhura that he doesn't have
Flaw 35: 10,000 Vulcan survivors way too few
Flaw 36: Wounded Enterprise catches up to more advanced Narada
Flaw 37: Poor Earth defense protocol
Flaw 38: Narada warp discharge
PART 10:
Flaw 39: Stellar matter disappears
Flaw 40: Hand phasor has moving parts
Flaw 41: Romulans have missiles/torpedoes but no disruptors?
Flaw 42: Nero makeup fail
Flaw 43: Beaming into water
Flaw 44: Old mechanical turbine tech in the future
Flaw 45: Kobayashi Maroo simulation cheat too blatant
Flaw 46: Narada bridge design
Flaw 47: Kirk wouldn't survive 2-story jump landing on his ribs
PART 11:
Flaw 45: (yes, I screwed up the numbers!) Parachute failure dynamics all wrong
PART 12:
Flaw 46: Romulans running away from black hole
Flaw 47: Beaming signal from black hole
Flaw 48: Explosion escaping black hole
Flaw 49: Enterprise viewscreen made of glass
Flaw 50: Antimatter explosion would have destroyed Enterprise
Flaw 51: Enterprise shaking for no reason
Flaw 52: What does "immediately"mean?
Flaw 53: Where was "immediately" gal at the end?
PART 13:
Unanswered questions
PART 14:
Fist bumps for cool stuff in the movie:
PART 15:
Ranking the Star Trek movies and conclusion: